Friday, December 31, 2010

Well, once again Wendy exaggerated a bit!

I can reassure you she isn't getting out that easy. Wendy is still with us and creating havoc as usual. She is simply passing the Friday Funnies torch along to another team member.

Next week you will be hearing from Jordan who will be bringing you a new view on the funny thing they call life.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

Happy Friday!

Sara Jackson
Sara@aQuiretraining.com

Politician in Action...

A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey.

'If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it.

But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort starving children, then I'm for it.

This is my position, and I will not compromise.'

New Year, Time to Diet...

How to Quit Smoking...

Peter, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Ken, and asks for a cigarette.
'I thought you made a New Year's resolution to quit smoking,' Ken responds.

'I'm in the process of quitting,' replies Peter with a grin. 'Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.'

'Phase one?' wonders Ken.

'Yeah,' laughs Peter, 'I've quit buying.'

This Weeks Quote...

"Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account."

~ Oscar Wilde

Friday, December 24, 2010

For nearly four years I have enjoyed sharing my crazy stories with you. The feedback I receive from readers has been delightful. During this time I added a grandchild, graduated a daughter from college, lost a husband (well, I didn't exactly loose him....he's just across town but you get the idea), moved office buildings twice, and so much more.

Most of these experiences have found their way in one form or another into Friday Funnies. It's been a blast to connect with many of you through this venue. But the reality is... they're giving me the boot! The ol' heave ho! Out with the old... in with the new.

In January, one of our newest team members, Jordan Robb will be bringing you his hilariously funny perspective on life, work, and everything in between.

This isn't goodbye - I will find ways to coerce some "guest writer" opportunities. Until then, let's stay connected on Facebook! www.facebook.com/aquiretraining

Have a very blessed holiday!


Happy Friday!

Wendy Finch
Wendy@aQuiretraining.com


Signs You've Had too Much Holiday Cheer...

1. You strike a match and light your nose.

2. You take off your shoes and wade in the potato salad.

3. You hear a duck quacking and it's you.

4. You tell your best joke to the rubber plant.

5. You refill your glass from the fish bowl.

6. You hear someone say, "Call a priest!"

7. You start kissing the portraits on the wall.

8. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet.

9. You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket.

10. You tell everyone you have to go home... and the party's at your place.

11. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off.

12. You pick up a roll, and butter your watch.

13. You yawn at the biggest bore in the room... and realize you're in front of the hall mirror.

14. You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear.

15. You suggest everyone stand and sing the national budget.

Yellow snow... 

 

Christmas Card problem solved...

Last Christmas, grandpa was feeling his age, and found that shopping for Christmas gifts had become too difficult. So he decided to send checks to everyone instead. In each card he wrote, "Buy your own present!" and mailed them early.

He enjoyed the usual flurry of family festivities, and it was only after the holiday that he noticed that he had received very few cards in return. Puzzled over this, he went into his study, intending to write a couple of his relatives and ask what had happened.

It was then, as he cleared off his cluttered desk that he got his answer. Under a stack of papers, he was horrified to find the gift checks which he had forgotten to enclose with the cards.

This Weeks Quote...

"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying: 'Toys not included.'"

~ Bernard Manning